i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
