somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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