so that wasnt chicken after all
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
