I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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