drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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