how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
