I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
