I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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