They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
