we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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