i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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