I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
bring money and cleavage
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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