i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
