that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
50% drunk capacity currently
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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