you would pick up someone in the library
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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