Duck Duck Cougar?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
