from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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