im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
