Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
