I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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