exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
