last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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