I cockslap morals
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
