I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
