Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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