We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
worst night to have a conscience
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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