Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
