another moral hangover. fuck.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
