i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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