She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
