we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
