The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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