fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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