we're chasing vodka with high fives
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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