They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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