Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
