So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
