so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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