Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
