But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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