Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
