and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
