Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Girls should come with a carfax report
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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