Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
