you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
