Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
