i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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