and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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