i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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