one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
