I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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