Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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