Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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