i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
