This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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